September is Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month. At PCFLV, we are committed to spreading the GOLD all year long. However, in September, we truly make it our mission. 30 Days, 30 Stories celebrates the children we know and love and the brave battles they fight and have fought, with their families by their sides. In celebrating these beautiful children and their stories, we hope to inspire you to join us in our mission to SPREAD THE GOLD in September and all year long!
"The strength for your next season will come from the pain of your past. Yes, your pain has a purpose."
In this crazy thing called "life", I have experienced and learned quickly from physical and emotional pain. If you were to ask me 5 years ago what was the worst pain I have ever felt, I would have told you the physical pain of childbirth by far was the most painful. Crazy to think how wrong I could be.
Fast-forward to the night of December 4th, 2017. The heart-wrenching, emotional pain of watching Jillian take her last breath is by far THE MOST excruciating thing I have ever experienced and felt. It plays over and over in my head. The pain echos and lingers with no way to alleviate it. As time passes, the heartache becomes even more real and painful. Time doesnâ€™t heal this type of wound. When you lose a child, the scars and damage are a constant reminder of how quickly life has changed.
What I have been forced to learn from all of this is that emotional pain is something with purpose. I am no longer invincible to something that can cause lifelong heartache. The unending heartache that resides inside of me forces me to learn quickly that pain is here to teach us life lessons. It has helped me to put things in perspective, prioritize whatâ€™s important, and to make the most of time left. I find that I laugh more often, soak in more moments with my boys, family, and friends, and lastly live more carefree.
In a painful tragic situation, something positive can be found. Sometimes the emotion that can break your heart is also the one that can heal it. The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again. I will endure all the pain that the rest of this life has in store just to know that one day, I will be reunited with Jillian and never have to let her go.